Carrying over from last week, Clemson lost (in the first round) but on the positive side, my treks to the gym continue. Hence, the title.
I attended a course at work this week on “building trust.” According to this, the two main ways to gain someone’s trust are by sharing (your thoughts, rationale and feelings) and listening (with empathy.) Other things such as being consistent, truthful etc. are trust builders. The focus was on building professional trust (between leaders/managers and staff), but I think you can apply the same to personal lives as well.
Let’s consider sharing first. Thoughts and rationale are much easier to share, feelings less so. I can only offer the male perspective here – but I don’t find it easy to share feelings with too many people. Obviously, if you want to share your innermost feelings, you have to really trust that the other person will understand, not judge, and not reveal them to anyone else. I wonder how this is for others – are feelings something that you share easily, and with many people (both at work and home?)
Listening is something I think I am reasonably good at (Usha will roll her eyes when she reads this) – well, OK, more so at work maybe. We need to try to listen to others without trying to solve their issues for them (unless they explicitly ask us to). Often times, people tell us things only to get it off their chests.
Among other things discussed, one thing stood out – the concept of “micromanaging” – that is, as a leader, do you trust your staff to do their jobs without having to stand over their shoulders and constantly telling them how to do things? As a manager, it’s a fine balance between delegating to your staff without micromanaging while still knowing enough to ensure that the work is getting done effectively and on time.
The question to think about is – do you trust the people you interact with, and do you think others really trust you? If not, how can you go about trying to build this mutual trust?
Until next time… Sam
3 responses so far ↓
Stacey Derbinshire // March 30, 2008 at 7:28 am
I found your blog on google and read a few of your other posts. I just added you to my Google News Reader. Keep up the good work. Look forward to reading more from you in the future.
Stacey Derbinshire
girl-next-door // March 31, 2008 at 1:46 am
Two things I’d like to comment on – the “listening” part…That is so true, and I usually get carried away and start offering my two cents! Half a dozen “I knows” later (from the other person) I realize its time to stop!
And the micromanaging – can you add any how-to tips for managers and for managees (!) to trust other teammates?
schari1971 // April 1, 2008 at 2:07 am
Micromanaging is a tough one to overcome. As managers, we need to avoid the impulse to tell people what to do, how to do it and when to do it by (and then checking in too constantly.) It took a while for me to learn, but these days, I tell someone what the general problem is and when I need a solution, and then I let the staff manage the issue. People are pretty smart, and I think they know when to come to you for help. When they do, I try and ask probing questions, raise issues if the solution does not fit the big picture, but try to refrain from pushing my ideas (much as I’d like to sometimes.) Of course, part of this is making sure your staff is competent – as a manager, we need to learn to identify our staff’s areas of development and then invest time/money to help them improve. Hope this helped.